March 5th, 2011
posted a new entry to 'rauf' at LiveJournal.
- What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."*
- It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
- Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
- Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
- Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.
- The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
- What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
- Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
- Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
- They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken.
- Sex is like software: For every one who pays for it there are hundreds getting it for free.
- Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.